For girls who have just experienced a breakup, if you want to re-establish contact, you need to pay special attention to the sense of proportion, first of all, it should be clear that any contact should be based on respecting the other party’s wishes, and cannot evolve into entanglement or surveillance, here are a few key principles to grasp: maintain a sense of presence in a natural state, create reasonable intersections but not deliberately, and show real growth and changes in interaction.

Before taking specific actions, it is recommended to take at least two weeks of emotional cooling-off period, which can be used to complete three important preparations: first, organize your true compound motivation by writing an emotional diary, whether it is out of emotional dependence or truly realizing the value of the relationship; second, objectively review the reasons for the breakup and list the specific problems that need to be improved in the relationship between the two parties; Third, re-establish an independent rhythm of life and cultivate at least two new hobbies, these preparations will not only help restore mental energy, but more importantly, when real chance encounters occur, the state you present will be more attractive.

The core logic of creating chance encounters is “reasonable existence”, such as the interest classes you once attended together, the gym you frequented, and the bookstores you regularly visited on weekends, these places themselves have the rationality of natural appearance, it should be noted that frequency control, 1-2 times a week is within a reasonable range, more than three times will seem deliberate, there is a practical trick is to choose a flexible time period in the other party’s fixed schedule, such as a yoga class at 7-8 pm on Wednesday, which is more natural than random appearance on weekends. If the other person has a habit of drinking a specific brand of coffee, you can show up at the café at that time, but don’t sit in the same seat every time.

It is recommended to communicate with reliable friends two weeks in advance, and ask the other party to invite the ex “by the way” when organizing a dinner or board game, here is a key detail: to arrive 10-15 minutes later than the ex, so as to avoid the embarrassment of deliberately waiting, but also to create the effect of natural encounter, Keep eye contact for about 0.5 seconds when entering, smile and nod, do not immediately come forward to talk, you can participate in the discussion of the other party’s topic group at the party, but each conversation is controlled within 3 minutes, and appropriately show recent life changes, such as mentioning “I have been learning flower arrangement recently, and I found that focusing on doing things can calm people” and other details that can arouse curiosity.

The creation of a sense of presence on social media requires higher skills, it is not advisable to remove or block immediately after the breakup, maintain a normal browsing but do not like the state, focus on the operation to show the dynamics of personal growth, such as the phased results of skill learning, in-depth reading notes, the frequency is controlled at 1-2 high-quality content per week, if the other party gives you a like, do not interact immediately, and then reply simply after an interval of 12 hours, there is a psychological phenomenon called “simple exposure effect”, and the continuous and appropriate appearance will subtly improve favorability, But be aware that the quality of the content is much greater than the quantity.